Saturday, 17 June 2006


[The blog formerly known as] Two up, two down has spent one white-knuckled, vein-pulsing, eyeball-popping week, nervously pottering, drifting off into reverie, and looking forward to the impending birth of TUTD Jnr, as today Mrs. TUTD is officially "term," although that depends on which midwife you listen to. I hope this doesn't last five more weeks.

The only appropriate analogy I can summon is a footeh one I'm afraid; it's like being 1-0 up in a crucial encounter, excited, nervous, mostly gibbering (this post is just one instance, I'm afraid) and just hoping that nothing goes tits up. 90% of any cerebral substance not destroyed by career activity has turned to mush. I feel just like a SMASH robot, actually.

Now although Mrs. TUTD has been masterplanning and strategising her own regeneration for some nine years, I felt rather ambivalent for a long time, so It's A Good, Good Feeling, that mixture of high positivity and healthy apprehension.

Those dynamic, breezy, enviable folk at work keep asking why I'm so nervous and fidgety, but it's a trait that's innate in my case and, hey, it's just the way I'm built. Ta for that, ma. Anyway, this sorta state o'mind precludes coherent blogging of any sort.

Indeed, a certain lecturer at a certain north-eastern university once took the piss out of an essay I had written; "you seem to enjoy a dialectical relationship with clarity," he scrawled (leaving remnants of his satsuma stuck to the paper). "Bollocks" would have been more economical.

How perceptive. Readers will confirm that you were probably correct in your analysis, Dr. ~. Blogs are good for petty retribution, though, aren't they...? Actually, this isn't working, and so I promise to call time on this futile, self-indulgent pap as soon as this post is over.

I'll soon snap out of it by necessity. Meanwhile, is nothing sacred, I ask you? Patents and trademarks can bugger off, "I am what I am because of who we all are," etc. And that's the first time any operating system has every furnished me with The Moral of The Story.

I'll take a deep breath before my next tangent kicks in.